Markook & A Gentle Walk (Subtitled: Recovery is the 4th Pillar)


Day 19:  I am still adjusting to the "no alarm clock" mornings.  On one hand, it's wonderful.  On the other, I feel a bit out of sorts.  For the first couple weeks, I had my workout done and ready to start breakfast by 8am.  Having my day start later is making me feel unproductive before I've even begun.  But, I've had a hard week and the weather is dreary, which doesn't help.  I am sure I will get into a new routine soon.

In the meantime this morning, I am thinking of a phase I read recently, "Allowing SLOW to Move Into You" - by Tina Firewolf.  I met her a few years ago at a seminar she gave at the local library.  Then a couple weeks later, I attended a workshop she held.  I am very taken with her and try to keep up with her on social media, since she left the area.

In her article she states:  "When the mind doesn't run from a fearful "gotta make life happen standpoint" Slow moves in and become our new "house-mate" and everything in life becomes Slow...everything."  She goes on to say, "You are able to simply allow Slowness to grow... to consume your life.  Instead of achieving and climbing harder or pushing yourself harder, you become more concerned with being more effective with less effort - of leading your life from your Soul Center.  Where LOVE awaits".  If you are interested in checking her out, go to tinafirewolf.com.

Shifting gears...  a worthy endeavor, simple but not easy.

This morning, I am shifting gears into an after breakfast yoga session with my new Shiva Rea dvd, ironically on location in Greece.  Today, yoga feels right.  It feels slow and gentle, nurturing and restorative.  Energizing without depleting.


I read a meme the other day that said:  "To protect your energy... it's okay to cancel a commitment, not answer the call, change your mind, want to be alone, take a day off, do nothing, speak up or let go".  It was on Jake Ducey's page, (always giving credit).  Obviously, we try to do our best and not flake out; but, when we have nothing left to give - why keep giving?  We have to take care of ourselves, literally.

Yesterday, I was fragile.  I hadn't realized how much my anxiety episode on Wednesday really took its toll on me until I woke up the next morning.  I had that very weak, "cracked egg" feeling that I used to get after a bad migraine or more recently, after a very bad anxiety incident.  I realized that I had been confusing my symptoms.  For months, before I began all of this working out, when my anxiety was at its worst - I would wake up in pain every day.  My body simply hurt from all of the stress I was holding inside on an everyday basis.  Now, my muscles get sore from working out, so it was easy for me to miss the creeping anxious tension.

As I faced the overwhelming kitchen mess I had left from the night before, I declared to myself, "its okay to change my mind".  I called uncle on trying to prepare a new recipe last night.  However, staying as true to my intention as I could get without actually cooking it myself, I decided to try Markook - Authentic Mediterranean Eats.  My parents have been raving about their food for awhile, and now I'm sorry I waited so long.

If you are local, you have to give it a try!  Ruba and Mustava, the owners (I'm sure I'm spelling their names wrong) were so warm and welcoming.  The place was spotless.  It smelled fantastic and the food was incredible.  Just look:
The bread?  Puffs, completely air filled and delicious.  I chose the chicken shawarma with rice pilaf and a chickpea salad.  The little ramiken dish is filled with the most amazing garlic and olive oil paste you can imagine.  Just looking at the picture has me wanting to dip into my leftovers.  Ruba told me it was customary to open the bread and spread the garlic paste inside, then fill it with the meat or salads, which I did.  The chicken just melted in my mouth and was so flavorful.  In the cup?  Unsweetened iced tea.  For a close up and few more pics:

After dinner, my husband and I went for a gentle walk - a mile and a half, but slowly.  Earlier in the day, my therapist was explaining to me about the 4 pillars of health:  Nutrition, Exercise, Mindset & Recovery.  She said how important it was for me to build in the recovery portion, especially when I faced a period of stress or high anxiety.  Somehow that pillar escaped me, usually until I crashed - or was coming close.  I will try to be more mindful of that from here on out.

I think this has been my hardest week so far, but I also feel like I accomplished something important for facing it head on.  My boat may have been rocked, but I didn't give up or cave.  I just made course adjustments and continued as best I could.  Some days I can move mountains, other days I can barely move pebbles.  But at least I am showing up and being fully present in my life.  I am meeting myself exactly where I am with acceptance and encouragement.  I hope you are being as kind to yourself?  If not, now is a good time to start!

Until next time...  Be well!
~Tracy  



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