Be Gentle and Eat Pancakes

Day 5 - This morning, a walk was all I had in me.  I felt cagey and still very sore and the birds chirping outside called to me.  I dropped my kids off at the bus stop and then drove to a nearby park where I breathed deeply and walked steadily.  The irony of my last post is not lost on me, about how this transformation is not a walk in the park.  I will pull the shoe out of my mouth and say this, "it's not JUST a walk in the park".

The cool fresh air was invigorating and I felt my muscles getting a nice stretch.  It feels good to move my body.  I actually enjoy doing this first thing in the morning.  It makes me feel a sense of accomplishment and more relaxed.  Less sluggish, more alert and focused.  As I walked, I got a sudden intense craving for pancakes.  This is unusual because I only eat pancakes a few times a year, but the more I walked, the more I could taste those pancakes.  I became inspired and decided I would look up a recipe to make whole wheat homemade pancakes when I got home.  I declared this a great compromise between honoring my craving and keeping to my disciplined, nutritional eating.

When I got home it took everything in me to head to my gym for a gentle arms and ab workout before breakfast.  I knew I couldn't do a full workout as my arms are so fatigued but I didn't want to shirk on my workout either.  I told myself, "Gentle does not mean do nothing!".  So I grabbed my resistance bands and did some bicep and tricep reps, followed by a long ab session on my yoga mat, ending with some stretching.

Eagerly, I googled whole wheat pancake recipes until I found one that looked best.  I dove right into the big mess of it, pulling out the mixer with abandon and mixing the honey and oil before adding the eggs and milk.  In my case I used 1/2 cup vanilla almond milk and 1/2 cup skim milk because I didn't have any buttermilk and it worked out fine.  Adding the baking powder, salt and whole wheat flour, I felt triumphant for some odd reason.  It's pancakes, not rocket science, but it felt so healthy and wholesome preparing my breakfast.

I allowed myself two big pancakes using Greek yogurt in place of my usual butter and syrup.  I have to say that is one of the most delicious combinations you could imagine.  I could not taste any difference whatsoever in the whole wheat pancakes.  In fact, they may have had a slightly richer, deeper taste?  Or maybe I was just drooling and starving?  I had to force myself to eat slower bites instead of shoveling it in greedily.  I am not proud of this, but I am, at least, honest about it.  Rounding out my breakfast was my ever present 4 oz of orange juice and a small bowl of watermelon.

Here is something to think about...  eating is supposed to be pleasurable.  It is supposed to nourish us.  It is supposed to be a way to nurture and fuel our bodies.  It can also be a way to nurture and fuel ourselves emotionally (and spiritually).  If we do it right!  That is a big one right there.  Taking the time to prepare healthy food for myself (even when I am all alone) is such a gift of love.  When I sit down to eat my food, I feel very nurtured and appreciative of every bite.  And I am taking the time to taste my food and eat a variety of foods at once in small quantities so the tastes bounce off one another.  This also has the benefit of making sure I include a wider range of micro-nutrients with each meal.  All of this has elevated my experience of eating.

One of the biggest surprises, since I've taken all the rules away from my eating, is that I've fallen into a breakfast, lunch and dinner routine.  For years, I would try to eat the 5 to 6 meals a day following different dieting advice.  But each day, after my big breakfast, I find that I'm not actually hungry again until noon or 1pm.  Listening to my body!  Then I eat a nice sized, healthy lunch and I'm not actually hungry again until dinner, which we eat around 4:30pm.

The problem comes around 6:30 - 7pm.  I am used to eating a bedtime snack.  I love to eat yummy food while watching tv at night.  Who doesn't?  Come on!  But, now that I think about eating in a different way, I know that those night-time calories are a complete detriment to my weight-loss efforts.  We need to eat to fuel our bodies.  I don't need any fuel to be comfortable and rest and then go to sleep.  So I recognized this is a habit.  A BAD habit!  Each night, when that habit rears her head, I ask myself, "am I really hungry or do I just want to eat?".  I find that I am not actually hungry.  So now I make myself a nice, hot cup of tea and that is my new bedtime, evening snack.

Drastic changes require drastic changes!  Being willing to change my attitude toward a bedtime snack is a drastic change for me.  I read recently that we shouldn't beat ourselves up about a lack of self-discipline and instead we should accept that we will do things when we are ready to do them.  That makes sense.  I feel ready.  

Until next time...  Be well!
~Tracy