Accountability has Definite Merit

Day 3 - When I woke this morning, I felt like I ran into a brick wall sometime during the night.  My body is sore, my muscles are screaming and I heard my inner voice saying things like, "maybe you are doing too much too fast?", "maybe you need a rest day to recuperate?", "maybe you should just go back to bed after the kids get off to school?".  But then I thought of this blog and all my many readers (thanks Mom!, lol) and I felt a sense of accountability.  Remember, whatever works!

However, when I reached for my workout clothes and tennis shoes, I felt somehow good in my body, underneath the pain and soreness.  Dare I say, I had a pep in my step?

My morning workout was a very real challenge today and I dropped down to 3 lb weights because my arms were shaking and fatigued before I began.  But I made it through with a few moments of rest when I could do no more.  And I didn't let that voice tell me that I was failing because I couldn't keep up.  Instead I thought, "Wow, look what I did!".  Because I realize that re-framing my self-talk is very important.  This is a theme that has come to my awareness several times recently.

Let's run down some pros and cons so far:

Cons:

1)  My house is messy and laundry is piling up.

2)  Cooking every meal (or cutting up fruits and vegetables, etc. for cold meals) is time-consuming, messy and creates a lot of dishes.  It is a huge undertaking to sustain this level of home-cooking.

3)  I crashed at 7pm last night, barely able to keep up conversation with my husband before I threw in the towel and crawled into my bed at 8pm, lights out, no tv.

Pros:

1)  I am more pleasant overall.  Yesterday, while making dinner I found myself singing and joking very lighthearted with my daughter.  This is a huge difference because, frankly, I have been quite crabby for a while now.  Not intentionally, but just noticeably.  And I felt upset about it and envied people who smile and laugh easily.  Turns out, endorphins must be real. 

2)  I am spending more playful time with my family.  Last night, I jumped on the trampoline with my daughter and then we played badminton in the yard.

3)  I am calmer, noticeable calmer and less overwhelmed, right after my big morning workout.  And this seems to be carrying through the rest of the day.  When I log in for work or when it's time to start dinner, I don't feel that initial stress and dread that I often do.  Instead I feel perhaps more mindful and in the moment, regardless of what I am doing.  Somehow, I feel like time has expanded and I don't feel rushed.

4)  I feel a bit less self-loathing and a bit of pride at the changes I am making.  I feel healthier already.

5)  I am enjoying eating more than ever!  I don't feel any sense of guilt because I am eating healthy, nutritional food that I prepared myself.  I am not measuring or counting calories and I don't feel restricted in any way.  Instead I choose a variety of food with each meal.  In following the Mediterranean way, I have been cutting up fruit to serve with dinner as a sort of desert right after the meal.  Last nights' cantaloupe was insanely delicious.  I swear I could taste the sun in every bite.

Until next time...  Be well!
~Tracy