New Old Kitchen Table
I mentioned Geneen Roth the other day. Her website describes her as "one of the first to link compulsive eating and perpetual dieting with deeply personal and spiritual issues that go far beyond food, weight and body image". During her interview with Oprah she was confiding that she and her husband lost everything they had invested with Bernie Madoff.
She was recalling that a friend (who she was sobbing to during that time, as it was unfolding) told her "that nothing of real value has been lost", (or something similar to that). And her response? "This is not the time to be spiritual"! While she was sharing this with Oprah they both laughed, wholeheartedly - because we all know that feeling. And yet... usually those things bring us right back to our spirituality, because that is where we draw our real inner strength, I think. Finding faith, wherever that exists for you.
Whatever you struggle with right now is your personal struggle, challenge and story. Divorce, loss of a job, weight and/or health issues, mental illness, heart ache, insecurity, an unstable relationship or whatever path is in front of you right now, that is your journey. Our journeys are so much more than getting from point A to point B, but rather all of the inner changes that take place as we strive to do so. For me, one of my personal struggles is insecurity. The darker side of that, on very low days, becomes unworthiness issues. Knowing this is so empowering!
We think admitting weakness, even to ourselves, is well, weak. In fact, it's the exact opposite! It takes strength to say, "I struggle with this"! To claim it and not blame it away.
I read a quote this morning that said, "Your body hears what your mind says. Stay Positive.". I immediately thought back to my time in the dressing room yesterday morning and cringed. If that is true, then I need to spend some time sending my body positive messages, such as being grateful for all that I can do and my health and ability to be active. I try to remember those things, but often it is a game of ping pong between the positive and negative.
Yesterday, I found 4 matching chairs to go with my new (old) kitchen table. I found the table at the flea market a couple weeks ago for $25 and was lucky enough to get the 4 matching chairs for $50. So for $75 I have exactly what I was looking for. An old-fashioned, sturdy, "real" kitchen table and chairs.
I still need to scrub it and maybe redo the legs on the table and possibly reupholster the chairs, but I absolutely LOVE it! I think it is ugly beautiful! It doesn't match my kitchen and the chairs and table may not even match each other perfectly, but they are the same age and design. Look at the improvement in my kitchen already.
Before:
Reluctantly I will end with this, there is a nagging tapping on my shoulder that I may need to consider following Weight Watcher's new points plus system to help me get a better handle on my diet. I don't want to do this! At all! I want to eat healthy food in healthy quantities. I don't want to weigh or measure or count or overthink about food. I don't want to track and write everything down. I am really resistant to the structure of that. I wanted it to be easier. But the scale doesn't lie and if I don't want to go another month and report that its been two months and I am still in the same place, then maybe I need to think a bit harder about what I am willing to tweak. But not right this second.
Until next time... Be well!
~Tracy
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