Getting Back to Basics

Day 37 - Tuesday.  There was a full moon last Friday, so the waning moon is still quite large and bright in the sky.  It is beautiful.... except when it is shining into my bedroom so brightly that it disrupts my sleep.  We recently took down our bedroom curtains to paint and the rods never made it back up yet.  Today it is at the top of my priority list when my husband gets home from work.

I am an introvert.  I don't concentrate well when there is too much chaos or people in and out of my work space.  Right now my living room is full of teenage boy/man energy, as my son's friend spent the night and they sacked out on the couches.  I am wearing my headphones as I write, so I can listen to the sound of soothing water bubbling instead of hearing them and all of their sleep breathing.

Yesterday everything took its toll on me and I climbed into my bed and put my eye mask and ear phones on, before pulling a pillow over my head and calling a time out.  I stayed there, falling in and out of sleep for quite awhile, but feeling the necessity of it for my restoration.  When I realized last night how disruptive the outside lights were, it occurred to me that I have not been sleeping very well lately.  How easily we dismiss basics.  Little by little we assimilate or put up with this or that until we can't take it anymore.  But why wait so long?  Why not actively take stock and make adjustments?

I set my alarm for 7am and got up and did my 3 mile boot camp workout (with Leslie Sansone), followed by the ab session on my floor mat.  That workout makes me sweat and really mixes cardio with the strength training so I feel like I'm getting it all at once.  For me, I realize that is a basic.  I need to do my workout first thing - early, to set myself up for a strong day.  I followed my hour long workout with a big breakfast of oatmeal with half a banana and 2 tbsp of chopped walnuts (pictured above) paired with a cherry Greek yogurt and my 4 oz of sunshine in a glass (orange juice for any newbie reading this).

I am trying to be mindful of the basics today and ask myself some simple questions.  Am I eating well? Yes!  Am I drinking enough water?  Probably not.  Am I sleeping well?  We already know that is a no, but I expect tonight is going to be better.  Am I going to the bathroom well?  Well enough, I'd say.  Am I active enough?  Yes!  Am I taking time to meditate and center myself?  Yes, but I could always use more of that.  What is my biggest struggle right now?  I'd say managing my overwhelm.

I function best with a to-do list.  I am almost addicted to them.  For an experiment, as I embraced the slower pace of summer, I put pencil and paper down and decided to see how long I could go and how well I could function without making to do lists.  At first it was actually a tiny bit easier than I expected.  I would simply ask myself, "what is the next thing I need to do" and do it.  It has now been a few weeks and my house is much messier than normal, I have projects half completed, my toilet needs scrubbed and I am feeling slightly out of control.

Ahhh, Bingo!  My lists gave me a sense of control.  Which I love!  And crave!  But they also kept me chasing tasks and not really living so much in the moment.  Now, I find it easier to meditate, to leave the house just be so I can just be.  To sit and write this blog post, before I drive my daughter to volleyball practice and log in for work.  To daydream.  To take better care of myself.  The downside is that when I look up and around, I start to freak out at the crap all over my dining room table that I need to sort through, the massive amount of information I have to learn if I want to really launch my blog in the future and pursue a free-lance writing career, the endless painting that I need to do to get my house finally settled into and decorated in a way that feels like "home".

It is hard (for me) to find that balance between "being" and "doing".  But I am definitely closer than I was 37 days ago.  And I imagine if I stick with it and keep coming back to the basics, I will be much better at it all in 37 more days.  There is a place for lists, don't get me wrong!  I know mine will be coming back, but perhaps in an evolved form, looser and more free-flowing?  Not the strict, finger-wagging to-do list of my past, but more of a hippie to-do list that I will decorate with gold stars and smiley faces?  We'll see - that is a far stretch, but one I am reaching toward.

Until next time...  Be well!
~Tracy